My Letter To Santa
It’s that time of year again and I just started making my list of things I need. “Want” is the more correct term according to some members of the family who shall remain unnamed. Let’s just say they wear dresses, have long hair, and have more shoes to wear with black skinny jeans, than I have total. Regardless of what we call it, there are a few things on my list this year.
- 12’ 7weight Switch Rod. I sure could use one even though I have no idea how to throw it. Spey and switch rod casting just looks so cool that I can’t be left out. A bunch of guys and I plan on taking a trip to Michigan for salmon and steelhead and I figure it would be a great addition to my fly rod collection. I guess while we’re talking about fly rods, we could add an 8’ 8weight for peacocks in Miami, an 8’6” 5weight for trout in Georgia, and a decent 9’ 10 weight for fishing the beach next fall.
- New kayak: Theresa really wants to join me a bit more on kayaking trips so putting a new one in my garage would be greatly appreciated. If it just happened to be “TOO BIG” for her to handle that wouldn’t be a big disaster. I’d just have to make the sacrifice and take it off her hands. Oh yeah, she could use a new Bending Branches paddle, a high-back paddling seat with gel padding for my (I mean her tush), and a bunch of rod leashes so she doesn’t drop any rods overboard.
- Thermal underwear: After all these years of freezing my butt off while hunting or fishing in the cold weather, I’d really appreciate some warm clothes. I still think my father believed the snowmobile suits we wore during deer season in Pennsylvania were “warm enough” for sub –zero temperatures. Effective layering with micro fiber materials wasn’t around yet, but it’s still a wonder that he didn’t find me frozen to a tree like John Torrence in “The Shining.” I’d have looked like a 13 year old, blaze orange creamsicle stuck to the base of a Hemlock tree on the first day of deer season.
- 6’ Ultra-light action spinning rod: Theresa wants to begin trout fishing and she could use a new rod. I’ll make sure it works as advertised during the upcoming shad season so I won’t argue if you want to add it to my rod rack for safe keeping.
- An AR-15: Theresa is a bit concerned about home defense so she has been shopping for a weapon she can use for repelling the attacking hordes whether they’re zombies or apocalyptic raiding parties. Oh who am I kidding? I want one too, so you may as well bring a matching pair.
- Fly boxes: Despite my best efforts to whittle down my fly collection, it continues to grow each month as I find more and more patterns to tie. I’ve got a pretty sweet collection of flies for Giant Trevaly, and Golden Dorado even though there aren’t any in Florida and the prospects of making a trip to Seychelles or Argentina seems pretty remote right now. You never know when they’ll come in handy.
- A new Kindle: I seem to have misplaced the last one and despite looking in all the normal places (the freezers, jelly cupboard, clothes hamper, the kayak hold, under the bed, under the truck seat, under the couch, on top of the refrigerator, etc…) I can’t seem to find it.
- Hearing Aids!!!!: These aren’t so much for me as for my loving wife. She’s getting tired of repeating herself and I’m getting tired of her yelling. At least then I can blame my not paying attention on the “DEAD” batteries.
Well Santa, you can see there are a few things on the list this year that would come in handy and I would be grateful if I got one or more of them. I’ll even leave it up to you to decide which of the gifts would go the furthest towards maintaining family harmony so don’t feel any pressure. Marriage counseling is much cheaper than it was 20 years ago.
I hope you and the family have a blessed holiday and a prosperous new year. Be safe while gallivanting across roof tops and please wear your seatbelt while flying. I’d hate to hear that you fell out of the sleigh while doing barrel rolls at 20,000 feet!
Thanks in advance for the gifts. Oh, and by the way.... If you're looking to do some fishing in Florida once the holiday season is over, you could check out the fly shop newsletter for some nifty tips and info. Not that I'm trying to move myself up the "NICE" list or anything. But, every little bit helps.